One thing I have realized over the years is that LIFE CHANGES. Some changes are good and we welcome them and some aren't so good at all. Yet these changes are unavoidable . . . they are a part of this world . . . they are the seasons of our life.
As I think back over my life (since Donnie & I got married) I definitely tend to put my memories into different seasons. And the seasons tend to be major life changes . . .
The first would be my
New Wife/Teacher Season.
Definitely a great time in my life. Donnie and I were so excited to be married - living together and learning how to be man and wife!
And I was so excited to be teaching! I just loved everything about it.
Yes, definitely a great season in my life - full of great memories . . .
sleeping in late with my hubby, grading papers, learning to fix dinner - so different from my life now! :)
NEW MOM
Oh, how this season was so full of rewards and challenges . . .
sleepless nights and endless cuddles.
I was just so thrilled to be a mother that I pretty much held Kyle 24/7! :)
Then I entered the season of
TRIPLETS.
What an unexpected and blessed season this was!
I have to admit that this season of my life is a complete blur . . .
no sleep, hundreds of bottles, thousands of diapers, millions of hugs.
That's all I remember! ;)
Mom to 4 Little Boys!
What fun times . . . trucks and balls and super heroes!
I loved this time of my life . . . it was so busy - yet so FUN!
What an honor to be the mother of these sweet boys.
Then we hit the season of hard times and I became the
Mom of a Child With Cancer.
Never did I expect this season to hit . . . and it was so very difficult.
It was a season of devastation, yet also a season of hope.
It was a season of hardships, yet also a season of prayer.
It was a season of tears, yet also a season of joys and celebrating life.
It was a season of asking WHY, yet also a season of growing closer to God.
It is a season I hope to never go through again . . .
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Then the darkest season to hit was when I became a
Mom Who Lost a Child.
The unthinkable had happened to our family . . .
every parents' worst nightmare had come true for us.
It was quite simply our season of grief.
And only by the grace of God were we able to walk through this dark season of grief. We stumbled many times through our tears, but God was always there to pick us up.
And I have learned that we have no control over some of the changes that happen in our life. But we can control how we respond . . . and we can always rely on God to love us, comfort us and strengthen us through every season of our life.
As I reflect back over my life, I realize that many of these seasons are over . . .I am no longer a new wife.
I am no longer a teacher.
I am no longer a new, first-time mom.
I am no longer a mom to triplets - although in my heart I always will be.
I am no longer a mom to 4 boys - at least not on earth.
Yet I will always be a mom who lost a child.
And I will forever be in my season of grief.
"You eventually make the decision to divide your life in half - before and after- with loss being that tight bubble in the middle. You can move around in spite of it; you can laugh and smile and carry on with your life, but all it takes is one slow range of motion, a doubling over, to be fully aware of the empty space at your center."
Jodi Picoult
Vanishing Acts
However, no matter what - LIFE GOES ON. And new seasons come whether you want them to or not. It feels as if time should stand still during the season of grief - but it never does. The sun still comes up every morning . . . chores have to be done, friends go home and family goes back to work. It doesn't feel right but it must be done. You have to learn to live again . . .
And thankfully, a new season did come! My season of being an
I just don't deserve the beauty of this blessing . . .
this ray of sunshine bursting through my dark cloud.
And now, quite simply, I am in the season of being a
MOM and WIFE.
It is my dream come true . . .
an honor, a privilege, a blessing.
It is a life full of chaos and a life full of love.
It is the best season of my life.
I have to admit that sometimes I fear the seasons to come! I know that some seasons will be difficult. Life changes & transitions are hard for all of us, but I know that God will be there through it all . . . holding my hand as I walk through the seasons of my life. God is faithful . . . and I pray that I always trust His will no matter what.
So for now, I will enjoy this season of my life. The cloud of grief still hangs above my head - but the sun shining through gets brighter every day. The blessings and love in my life are abundant - I have so much to be thankful for!
I wanted to share the story of "The Pear Tree." I received this in an e-mail a while back and was so excited to find it on youtube! It is a beautiful story of the Seasons of your life!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:4
Enjoying the season,
29 comments:
Thanks Heather~
I needed this today...in a HUGE way.
Although, I've not experienced the same seasons as you....none-the-less...we all face many....but Thank goodness...we have Jesus to walk with us...each step of the way.
You so BLESS me!
Kim~
Heather, every time I see that photo of you first holding Allie, tears just fill my eyes. I *feel* the joy you felt at that moment and I am so overwhelmed by the love in your family!
I can't thank you enough for posting that video today. I am no doubt going through one of the hardest seasons of my life right now, and I need the reminder sometimes that it will pass. I have to believe there are happier times upon us! Thank you so much for sharing!
Hi, Heather. My name is Melisa and I found your blog through Rachel at holdingontome. I have read your blog several times, but was so touched today by your post. I too have lost a child - two actually - a one day old infant and a 6 week old infant. Although the years have passed and I have been thoroughly blessed with 3 beautiful children through the blessing of international adoption - I never "get over" Allison and Andrew. I just wanted to let you know that I truly understand and appreciate your words of encouragement. Would love to stay in contact - below is my blog address if you get a chance! God bless you and your beautiful family.
In Christ's Love,
Melisa
www.higherisourheartsdesire.blogspot.com
Heather,
Such precious thoughts. I too sometimes think of seasons to come and then I try not to worry. God is in control. It isn't always what we want or how we want it, but He is in control, no doubt. Thanks for sharing such tender thoughts.
Blessings,
Tracie
Precious...no other words but precious...
Heather,
I've always called them different chapters of my life. When I look back at my life, I see all the different chapters. I love reading, so I guess I would put my life in a book. We all go through different seasons of our life. I love my family so much, I really cherish all the little moments too. I spend so much time working on my family tree, I feel like it's really important to know where my family came from, all a little piece of who I am. I loved your post Heather, I am so happy to be a part of this season in your life.
Carmen
Oh, Heather... such a beautiful post! You have described so well the seasons of your life and shared a bit of your heart in the process. I hate that you had to walk thru the painful, difficult seasons with cancer and losing Jacob, but I am also so thrilled that you are beginning to see the shining thru brighter each day.
Blessings to you and your family!
I just love reading your blog! I didn't know that you used to be a teacher. I graduate in a year with a degree in elementary education & I can't wait to teach! I love that story..it is so true! Thanks for sharing!!
What a great post. I guess there's no real reason to have known this, but I'll say this anyhow...I didn't know you were a teacher...so am I!!! I taught 3rd grade one year and enjoyed that age. 2nd grade, I think, is the best grade to teach. Now I am a 1st grade teacher...teaching kids to read can be very daunting at times.
What a great entry. You are so right about the seasons. You have definitely seen them all.
You are probably the most deserving Mom I can think of to adopt a child. Your children are so lucky to have you.
I did not know you were a teacher. I bet you were a great one!!
Enjoy this season, and all that is brings.
Heather... thanks for taking us through the seasons of your life... you have been abundantly blessed yet have had to endure the hardest trials that anybody should ever have to endure. But, you are true to Him and have always remained HOPEFUL and continue to look forward to the next season he gives you. You are an inspiring friend and I love you for always being candid and honest and letting us in to see the good, the bad and the beautiful.
God Bless You my friend... because of you, there are many more FROGgers that you will ever know.
HI Heather,
I've been a reader but never posted before. I'm in awe of you. It's so nice to see someone talk so openly of their faith on a blog. God IS working in our lives all the time it just takes our noticing.
This was a beautiful post today. Yes seasons come and seasons go, we may even fight the changes they bring. However, only God knows what the finished product of our life will look like.
I would love to chat and be friends. Feel free to read my blog as well.
You're amazing! I am sure God is proud of you his daughter.
Thanks, Dana WHidddon
Going through all that and you're still as purdy as ever...maybe even more!
About the future? What I've been using to sign guestbooks today really fits in!
What a beautiful word picture: The Lord holding you by your right hand! Praying for comfort and peace whatever the future holds.
Psalms 73:23-26 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
Prayer Bears
That was beautifully written. Two weeks ago I could only relate to some of the things that you wrote about. But now, unfortunately, I am beginning a journey down a path that never thought I be on.
I found your blog through Angel's blog. Thank you so much for writing about your precious family. I loved reading your blog before my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, now I both love it and need it.
http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com/
Beautiful summary of your life Heather. Oh you read Jodi Piccoult? Isn't she great? Have you read My Sister's Keeper? I'm sure that one hits close to home for you.
I think I have been stuck in one season for the longest, but I am looking forward to the other seasons God has in store for me. I am sure for you by far that being a mom and wife has been and is the best season so far?
This post brought me to tears. You are so right of all the seasons one goes through in life. You are an inspiration to me and many others. You are an amazing woman for all you've gone through and you still have more faith than most people. Your children are truly blessed to have such a wonderful mother.
This is so beautiful written. I'm in tears because I can relate in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your heart. I love the picture when you first met Allie. It's absolutely precious. :)
Oh Heather, what a beautiful blog entry. You and your dear husband need to be parents to 10 more children. You, two, are so special and are doing a fine job raising your four children. God bless the Duckworth household. :)
Heather, Thanks so much for sharing that beautiful video. God knew I needed to see that today as our family has hit a difficult season.
God has gone before us and is leading our way but sometimes it is hard to see that. Your post was very touching and inspiring.
all my best,
Maureen
Seasons of Life . . . how absolutely thought provoking, loving, and motivating. We are currently experiencing a "New and Challenging" Season in our lives. My mother in law fell and we had to place her in a Nursing Home and it has been so so sad to experience a parent like this. However, your entry today reminds me there is another season and God will care for us and move us through. Thanks so much for sharing.
WOW!!! I so needed this today. I have the same "before and after" in our lives. We are approaching the 4th anniversay of when our prescious son Brandon went with Jesus (8/3). Along with MANY changes coming up in August. I have held the scripture on seasons in my heart. Sometimes easy to let it wash over me and heal me, and yet going through the sleepless nights, beause I am in that place where my heart is hurting so much, and my mind just will not stop running! Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much your post touched me today. God is just so AWESOME, that even in the little things ~ he shows us how big he really is, and how much he loves us!!! I will always be PRAISING him and THANKING him for making all things possible!
Enjoy your day!
Dawn
Wow Heather, that really hit home.
You have handled that season of your life with so much grace. I hope you know that.
HUGS.
What a touching post!! You are such an inspiring woman!!
Robyn
Hi Heather --
That was a beautiful post - it is always helpful to understand that while today may seem bleak, there is always tomorrow - another day - another season!
I can't help but take exception to your comment that you're no longer a teacher, though. You may not be teaching in a school but you're certainly teaching all of those who follow your blog how to FROG - not to mention teaching your children - your family - anyone you come in contact with! You provide an excellent model of how to live! Thanks for that and for sharing your life with all of us.
Libby
Thank you for sharing. I love to read your posts ~ always. You are an inspiration to me. I love what you say, the verses you share, the quotes, just everything. Thank you for blessing my life.
Oh, Heather, I think you have many more amazing seasons coming. You will always be a mom who lost a child, but through that you also started the seasons of:
1. Being an amazing write
2. An inspiration for so many families
3. A friend to those in greatest need
4. Walking closer with the Lord
5. Spreading his love to those who need the light the most.
Your seasons are still unfolding, friend.
ps. #6 - mom of teenagers is still looming ahead!
Love
Anissa@Hope4peyton
Hey Heather,
Another incredible post!! Enjoyed all the pictures.
It's been an honor to walk with you through these last 2 seasons of your life.
Your grateful heart, love for life, and family has never changed during any of the seasons you've went through.
I've seen the goodness of God in the ones I've witnessed and it brings Him so much pleasure when we see Him in all our seasons.
The video was great too.
I'd like to end by sharing a neat quote from a great book I'm reading, and it goes right along with your theme:
"In moments when I'm tempted to treat this gift called time as though it were some unfortunate filler, I hear a gentle whisper from God in my soul, "Child, I am the God who wastes no man's time. For me, every course (or season as you have shared Heather), in your life is MAIN!!!" Alicial Chole
Yes, God uses all the seasons of our lives to show His glory!
Blessings my sweet friend♥
I was so incredibly moved by this post. I hope you realize what a *tremendous* blessing you are to so many people. You have had an incredible life - with amazing highs and unthinkable lows - but with the presence of God always at the center of everything. Thank you for reminding me that no matter the season, God is in control. I pray that all the rest of your seasons will be filled with the joy that only God can bring. God bless you.
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