TIME.
What a precious gift it is. We are given 24 hours each day - yet I struggle with always wanting MORE.
Donnie is my best friend and there is no one in this world I would rather spend time with - I just enjoy being with him. And after 12 years of marriage I can honestly say that I love him more everyday. How I wish we had more time for date nights and weekends away together. More time to talk, to laugh and just be with each other without the worries of work and the interruptions of children! ;)
More time with my children.
I spend a lot of time with my children . . . yet I feel like it is always "rushed" time. Rushing to get ready for school, rushing to baseball practice, rushing through homework, rushing to get to bed on time. How I wish I had more "laid-back" time to just play and spend with them without always hurrying. I know that my TIME is the best gift I could ever give them.
More time for me.
I tend to put the things I WANT to do on the back burner because I am too busy doing the things I HAVE to do - like laundry! :) How I wish I had more time to sleep, to read, to get my hair done, to write, to answer e-mails or leave comments on other blogs. How I wish I had more time to volunteer and help others . . . to get more involved in charity work.
More time for God.
How I wish I had more time to read the Bible and my devotionals . . . more time to pray for others. More time to listen to God and let Him use me.
More time with Jacob.
Oh, how I miss my son! How I wish I would have been given more time with him . . . to watch him grow - to hold him in my arms - to enjoy his presence and feel his love! What I wouldn't do for just one more day to hear his laugh, to see his smile, to look into those big blue eyes . . . to give him a hug and never let go.
More than anything - losing Jacob has taught me how valuable the gift of time is . . . it is more valuable than any amount of money or anything that I own. Yet it is so hard to manage and too easy to forget how precious time is. 24 hours sounds like a lot of time - yet why can't I get everything done . . . why do I keep craving more?
"We need only decide what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf from the "Lord of the Rings"
Unfortunately we never know how much time we will have on this earth, but I want to use my time wisely. I have learned that the sweet time we spend now with the ones we love will make memories that will last a lifetime. Time is a precious gift from God - and my goal is to try my best to use it better. To not waste it, to not be so rushed . . . to savor every precious moment.
"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure?"
Author Unknown
Any and all time management tips are welcome! ;)
How do you get it all done? What do you do with this priceless treasure?
Thankful for the precious gift of time,
25 comments:
When they asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told them..."The gift of time!" That is the only thing I really want! As for tips, I look forward to seeing what is out there! I am committed to doing my best to spend my time wisely!! It has become forefront since meeting Jacob! And of course, hearing the Diamond Rio song "One More Day". I want that for you, for Mimi, and all the parents--all of us!! But then I'd just want one more day after that, too! Thankfully there is Heaven!! Hoping for the time to love!!
Well I do not have any tips. i like you find myself always wanting more time. I want my time here on earth to matter. I want to use my time to help others in need, to help strangers, to be with my family. I was just thinking about this yesterday after watching a movie surronding the topic of death. Would you like to know the day and time of your death - no not me. I would however want the time that I have been Blessed with to be used to Bless others. My only tip is to not be so worried about the cleaning and laundry - just enjoy the time with your kids because you can't get it back. You may not be into country music but there is a song by Trace Adkins "Your going to Miss This". I don't care to much for him but the song hits home. here are the lyrics.
She was staring out the window of that SUV
Complaning, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says "Baby, just slow down"
Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"
Wow Heather thanks for making me think about the precious time we spend with the ones we love. You are so correct... there is not enough time to do everything we would like in a day, but we all should use the time we have to make memories as they last a lifeTIME.
Another awesome post! Of course as I got down to Jacob it was so bittersweet....
Let me think how I get things done and i will let you know...lol. I have to think about this one.
Love and Hugs...
What a great reminder for me this week! I've been struggling with too much time (or too much boy energy for the time we have!) while the weather has been so cold. My only goal lately has been getting through the days. I need to work harder to make these moments precious memories as well.
Thanks!
Heather I do know what you mean about not having enough time for everything and everybody. I would give anything if you could still have Jacob to. I wish with all my heart that no parent would ever lose their child. My little Gracie has to have her tonsils and adenoids taken out and tubes put in her ears on February 5th. They did a hearing test on her yesterday and said she has lost a lot of hearing in her right ear.She cried because they put her in a littlw room by herself and shut the door, she said it was dark in that basement they put her in. She could see us through a window, but she cried anyway and I felt so sorry for her and then you came to my mind and I wondered how you watched Jacob go through so much, it was hard for me to see her cry and she wasn't in pain. Please pray for her on the 5th and for me to, it will be a hard day for all of us. I don't like the thoughts of her being put to sleep. I love all the pictures you've posted of Kyle, Devin, Brandon, and Allie.
Carmen
I don't have a time management tip...just a short note about our time between the dash...please take a moment to watch:
http://www.dashpoemmovie.com
It really says it all.
I have no tips. I struggle with the concept of time constantly. I already go to bed at midnight (then have to teach the next day). I don't know where else to squeeze out a minute (okay, maybe a little less time on the computer, but that is important to me too). I feel the same way about my husband...love him more and more each day, and with each child, our alone time seems to be less and less (I am not complaining :). Date nights sound great, but after I work all week, I just cannot bear to leave our kids. More time with children...yes! Without homework, activities, fusses, etc. And I know I need more time with God. Okay, all that to say...if you get any great tips, share them with me. :)
Reba
If you figure it out let me know! I never get enough sleep at night and am still behind on everything....
The Lord never tires hearing from us. Praying right now!
Psalms 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
That is a question I sturggle with daily. I get overwhelmed and get less done. I have been blessed with time with my kids since I homeschool, but it dose all seemed rushed even with that. I think moms struggle with this the most :)
No real tips for you. I only have one. I don't know how you do it with all of yours! I work full time outside of the home, 7 - 5:30 4 days a week. I feel like I never get to see my daughter and when I do...I feel too tired to really enjoy the time. I find the most precious parts of my day are bathtime and bedtime. At bathtime I will usually play with her and talk to her about her day. Occationally...I'll read a chapter or two in a book just to get a moment to myself...while she is playing in the bath. We also love bedtime. I let her pick out a few books and we climb into her bed together (used to be that I'd rock her in the rocking chair). We read her books and then we cuddle and give hugs and kisses. We just talk and share (she's only 2...so the conversations are a little goofy sometimes). I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything! I know it's a little more difficult for you and all 4 of the kids but maybe you could do a family cuddle time in one bed where each child takes turns picking out the evenings books...etc.??
Also, I can't stress the importance of mealtimes together enough. I know that growing up that was the one time of the day that my family really connected. We all took turns talking about 1 fun thing we did that day..etc. Now that our daughter is old enough to eat at the table with us...we make sure to have a family dinner at the table as often as possible.
As far as time with your husband...that's trickier. We make a point of dropping Jenna off at one of the grandparents every once in awhile so that we can go out together...or even stay in together. That way we get to benefit from our alone time and she gets the benefit of spending time with her grandparents! Maybe you could even enlist the help of another family with 3 or 4 kids and trade babysitting duties one night a month? That way you both get to enjoy a night of couple time.
I know these aren't the most original tips and your probably already doing all of this...but it's what works for me!!
What a great picture of you and Donny. You both look so happy.
Time........oh how I wish I had more. Like you, I feel like my time with my children is "hurry up!!!" time. I try to take weekends and just relish them a bit.
I too wish I had more time for my husband (and he time for me), and myself? What is that?!!?!!?.
I think that by realizing time slips away from us we become more aware, and try to enjoy the little things. Like, eating dinner together, or reading a story to the kids, or teaching Reese new things. I try to just spend 10-15 minutes each day with each of my children alone. It seems to make a differnce to them--and me.
I guess when my kids grow up and move out I will start dating my husband again:>). And, read a book without animation!!
As a working mother of 4 (soon 5) I know how fast time flies. I decided a couple of years ago that laundry wasn´t one of the things that HAD to be done. Of course I know it has to be done in the end, but the reality is, I´d rather spend a relaxed afternoon with my kids wearing dirty t-shirts, than spend the time in the laundry room and not see my kid until they´re asleep.
Wishing you all the best from Iceland. Thanks you for your beautiful blogs, they´re so inspiring!
Heather, I too always struggled with the time issue when my kids were younger and still at home. I always worked full time and my husband worked very long days as a salesman so besides cooking, child care etc. I also paid bills, got vehicles serviced, shopped, etc., etc. I'm not complaining because it worked for us. Thank goodness my mom was still alive then...she would keep reminding me that it is the QUALITY of time spent with kids, hubby, etc. and not the QUANTITY. That always helped me. And now that the kids are off to college and living away from home, I'm still as busy as ever! :)
Hey Heather...
Now, don't ask me about TIME, I just don't know HOW you do what you do?
God knows your heart, and you are doing such an incredible job.
You don't need to sign my guestbook or blog, I KNOW you are out there, and you love me.
I have a little surprise for you, come by and pick it up.
(Now don't feel like you HAVE to participate, I just wanted to HONOR YOU!)
Blessings...
What a precious post. I once taught a class on Time Management. Which is so funny when I think about it. That was back when I had only one child. She is now soon to be 18, the oldest of 4. My youngest is 4.
Some tips that I could use now:
1 - Beat the kids out of bed. Make that time JUST for you and God. It's the only way I get to spend time with the Lord. It's funny how He will make that time stretch. Ask the Lord to order your steps for the day. Ask Him what He would like you to do for the day and what you should take out of your schedule.
2 - Time block. If I want time for myself, I have to put it on my calendar just like a doctor's appointment. And then treat it like one and do it. Having a daily planner can be really helpful.
3 - A great piece of advice I got regarding spending time with my husband was this. After he gets home from work and greets all the kids, sit down on the couch together for 10 minutes. Let your kids know that this is mommy and daddy time. They can sit and listen, but they can't talk. Or this is where we would let the older ones "babysit" the younger kids. Either way, they see how important you are to each other and it fosters security. And an uninterupted 10 minutes gives you time to connect.
4 - Date your spouse AND your kids. We schedule individual dates with our kids on the calendar. Each child gets a one-on-one date with either mom or dad once a month. The following month, they date the other parent. The kids love it. It could be something as simple as going to the grocery store. Or dinner or a movie. It makes them feel special, where sometimes when you have lots ;) of children, it can be hard.
Sorry this was so long. I hope it gives some ideas.
H, I have been working on this very thing for a long time "pun intended". I have found many ideas that work for me. I fix a lot of crock pot meals and add only sides when I get home from work, fix pot lucks that leftovers will be a basis for the next evening meal, I put one load of laundry in every morning and my 13 yr old son finishes it after school. Each person in my family has their own "duties" which helps tremendously. I learned through using FlyLady.net(it's overwhelming at first) that you can do anything for 15 minutes at a time. I have found through reading Peter Walsh's book It's All Too Much, that eliminating all the excess stuff in our lives, it will free up time for us to spend with our families. Would you believe I have almost 2 hours every evening just to spend with my family? And every weekend we have time to enjoy each other's company. Feel free to email me if you'd like to know more. Lana
Heather,
I am so glad I am not the only one who deals with this issue!! I am a stay at home mother of 5 ages 18, 14, 7, 6, and 4. My husband is a manager at a car dealership which is very demanding of his time. I too use the Flylady system. Hi to my fellow flybaby who posted! My husband will tell you that when my fourth child came along and I started using Flylady, not only did our "house" change, but it became a "home". It freed up my time and forced me to set aside special time for everyone, including myself. It completely changed our lives.
This year all five children are at school. I thought for sure with all that time on my hands during the day I would have my house spotless, a gourmet dinner on the table every night, laundry caught up, I would have time to shop leisurely, read and oh maybe start on some projects I have been meaning to tackle. Guess what? None of that has happened!
I wonder, how am I still so busy when no one is home for several hours a day? Oh well! I just give it to God and let Him lead me everyday. I have made great strides in my time management issues though and to paraphrase Joyce Meyer; I am not where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be!.
My husband and I don't get alot of time together, but we do sit on our porch some nights after the kids have gone to bed and just talk, or if he is home in the mornings we will sit on our porch with our coffee after the kids have gone to school. It is an inexpensive and easy way for us to have adult conversation.
The main thing is to ask God to show you what He wants you to do each day and I always ask him to "cover" the things that I may miss doing.
Take Care!
Maureen
This is a beautiful reflection of your heart. You point us to what matters most. God and people.
I'm sorry about your son. This is my first time to your blog I think. I found it through Susan. Anyway, thanks for sharing so honestly.
My brother had childhood cancer too. Rhabdomyosarcoma. He wasn't suppose to live but did. God gave him a second chance. He had two years of chemo, radiation, and surgery at the Mayo clinic. I was 17 when he was diagnosed at 3 years old. He is now 25. Has a heart of gold and lots of visual scars. Blind in one eye. I just love him...
Anyway, you have a beautiful family. I hope to be back soon.
Heather,
I was really relating to what you were writing, as I have 3 sons and never seem to have enough time for everything but then, when I scrolled down and saw those beautiful blue eyes, it reminded me of how much it pains me to just imagine your pain,; my 6 year old (when his hair was short) reminded me SO much of Jacob. In fact, when I'd be reading Jacob's caringbridge page, he would see pictures of Jacob and would think they were pictures of himself! Those eyes, I cry every time you write about him. Every time I pass the entrance to Fishhawk I think of you, every time I see a Jacob ribbon on the back of someone's car, my eyes fill will tears.
As for time management, I just let go of all of my expectations of what I should be doing and started doing what I wanted to do. Things eventually got done and I was satisfied that I had enjoyed my day and my kids had enjoyed their time with me.
Plus, give yourself a break Heather! You are an amazing and powerful presence to SO many people! You ARE doing enough, just look into the eyes of your tribe and see how healthy and happy their are. That? Is plenty
And I heard, from a very reliable source (Mary Lynn Kesler, Sierra's Mother) that you are as amazing in person as you appear to be here.
That was probably one of the most beautiful posts I've read from you Heather. Gosh, sometimes I envy you when I see your wonderful marriage and kids. Then I have to remind myself what you went through with Jacob...I don't envy you that for one second. But I do admire the way you have been able to move through it with such grace, still finding joy in each day.
I don't have any real advice on time, but do take time for yourself when you can grab it. I'm sure you've heard that old expression about filling your own bank account so you have something to give everyone else. I say let the laundry go now and then while Allie's napping and read that book. And get those boys helping you!! They are more than old enough to help out with chores and put their own laundry away!!!! And you'll be doing their future wives a favor too when they get a husband who knows his way around housework!!
I know what you mean! And do you know what comes with wanting more time? Guilt. I feel so guilty when I am by myself - thinking that I ought to be gviing it to somebody - Dave, the kids, SOMEONE. Selfish, but sometimes I swear if I don't get a moment or two of quiet and peace I might lose my mind!
Hi Heather,
I have been reading your Jacob updates and blogs since I became aware of Jacobs page a couple or 3 years ago. I find such encouragement from your words and reminders of how God works through even the toughest of times. After reading your 'time' blog I cried. I am a single mom who splits custody of her 2 precious sons w/ their dad. There are days like today when I reflect on the time that the boys and I have shared during "our time" and wish that I'd have been more patient, less rushed to do what "has" to be done. I miss them when they are away so much. And the time we have together is too short. I will be getting married soon to my best friend. The boys and I and he and his kids are all so excited. I worry though that 'time' will become even more of an issue. I want to be the best mom to my boys, and the best stepmom to his teens, as possible. I know that I can only do this w/ God's daily help. He is bringing us together as a family and I trust that He will make the adjustment as smooth as we can expect. I try to always make time for cuddles. My youngest, especially, loves to just cuddle and I found myself saying, "After we do this (laundry, dishes, etc.)..." But you know what...I've come to realize, especially since I sadly don't get to see my boys every day, that that other stuff is just that....STUFF. And if one of my boys wants to cuddle, I will stop what I am doing and cuddle (unless of course I'm driving down the street!). I know it's cliche but since my divorce my "motto" has been "Life is too short". I know that you are fully aware of how true this statement is...more than anyone I am sure. And the people in our lives are more important than the things or keeping on an exact schedule w/ chores etc. I am blabbering now. Thanks for your encouragement and the beautiful photos. I love your family and thank God for speaking to me through you. You are a blessing!
In Christ,
Amy Sopoti (soon to be Waters *smile*)
ChemoAngel to Ryan
amy.asdell@gmail.com
Heather,
Jacob and a few other precious children's testimonies have taught me to value time more than anything else. Of course I still have days that you would swear I have forgotten that.
Have you ever thought about homeschooling? As I've read your journal for years now I have often thought that you would be great at it as you do enjoy being with your children so much. There are usually support groups and activity groups in every area, even tutors to help!
It certainly isn't for every one but I have done it off and on since my oldest daughter (now 21, in college) was 5. I have been homeschooling my other kids for about six years now and I swear I feel I know them so much better than when we all were in "rush mode" the majority of the time.
That was my only idea...I know you will manage and WELL!
Heather, I am adding a comment in regards to the person who suggested homeschooling. I too have thought you would be great at it. In fact, I received a prayer request through my homeschool support group for Jacob a few years back and that is how I came to follow your family on your journey. I actually thought you were a homeschool family when I first visited Jacob's site!
My family has homeschooled on and off. I homeschooled my oldest children through their middle school years. They are now in high school. One will be graduating in May and the other is a Freshman. My husband and I just this week actually have decided to not enroll my three younger children in their private school for next year. We will be homeschooling once again and I am so excited. If you want any information, obviously there are several of us out there who would be happy to give you some insight. I hope your family is recovering nicely from their colds!
Maureen
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